Mom and Dad were so happy to finally cast away the family hand-me-down furniture and invest in a brand new sectional sofa. It didn't take long for Gabriel to discover how soft and absorbent it is.
Gabriel actually had left it alone for well over a year. When the couch had to be moved to replace the floors it was pressed into odd configurations that offered Gabe a measure of privacy of which he took willful advantage. Luckily, Mom found that the couch cleans up well if enough time is taken. Oh, and if she uses enough enzyme cleaner. (Really, she should buy stock in the company that makes Nature's Miracle.)
The problem is how does one keep up with the constant messes? They tried putting carpet runners on the couch, spiney side up, but I discovered I could just knock them off to have a lie-about. I couldn't figure out how to put them back on when my nap was over. Mom turned to the inernet (ah, that glowing resource of infinite knowledge!) and guess what she found out? That's right, cats are jerks. Seriously, lots of cats urinate on couches! (Some dogs, too, oddly enough.) During Mom's research she found that many people swore by these mylar blankets that crinkle and crumble unpleasantly when touched. She doesn't mind that it looks like a UFO crashed in the living room. She just wants to save her sanity... and the couch, too.
No one has been on the couch in almost two whole weeks now. Mom is going to initiate what she calls "Stage 2 of the Assault on Stench" this weekend which should have the couch looking and smelling like new again... except where Eva chewed those holes in the back cushion.